


Beautiful Burden

by IrisClou



Series: Sensei Squared [Kaka/Iru/Tsu] [9]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Ghosts, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, its just fucking sad but like bittersweet sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 04:14:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19738099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisClou/pseuds/IrisClou
Summary: You taught me the courage of stars before you leftHow light carries on endlessly, even after deathKakashi has a long talk with an old friend, one who secretly has a special link to their lost teammate.just...a lotta feelsy shit folks. lotta gay. lotta sad cute shit.





	Beautiful Burden

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY SO
> 
> LET ME GIVE YOU A RUNDOWN OF THIS CANON, SINCE ITS NEVER HAD TO BE ELABORATED ON IN "SOMEONE TO YOU"
> 
> obito good. madara bad. kaguya no. 
> 
> fourth shinobi world war happens. they fight tobi and realize OH SHIT IT OBITO. he and kakashi have their little spat and kakashi chidoris the evil bullshit seal? madara put on him and Now He Good. 
> 
> no jyuubito. Madara goes jyuubi. they punch him till he dies. hagaromo or whatever his name is shows up says hes gay for madara and they both leave to fiji or something. they go bye bye. KAGUYA DOESNT FUCKING HAPPEN, FUCK THAT STUPID MOON SHIT THIS ISNT FUCKING DBZ KISHIMOTO
> 
> obito comes back home, everyone still pretty much fuckin hates him cuz yknow. the whole kyuubi blowing up konoha is a bit of a sore spot. he lives in the konoha hospital in the memory/hospice ward taking care of old people, as Obitos are want to do, keeping out of everyones way and only going out at night. since he like. pseudo died a billion fuckin times hes got fancy supernatural medium powers because i said so and he doesnt really need to eat or sleep as much as normal people do. 
> 
> but hes still gay hes still obito, literally other than that hes just. good boy. 
> 
> okay the end thats the pre req reading for this fic enjoy

**[[saturn | sleeping at last]](https://youtu.be/dzNvk80XY9s) **

> _With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite_
> 
> _How rare and beautiful it is to even exist_

His reflection was always his worst fear. Whether it be in the water, the mirror, or now in the window that overlooked the firefly lights of Konoha at night. 

____  


The ward was silent, nothing but a small desk radio crackling softly in his room. 

____  


Just last week, he had counted the lights. Traced new constellations, the stars just counterparts to the warmth of the city. 

____  


Just last week, he had seen Kakashi. 

____  


The men had escaped the monotony of the hospital, stealing away together in the dead of night, feeling the richness of the early summer night on their skin, padding out barefoot on lush grass and loamy soil. After the suffocating smell of death day after day, his lungs lustily welcomed the scent of overwhelming life, bursting into bloom around them. 

____  


At first, they were silent. They, in all reality, had too much to say, and thus their thoughts drowned out all speech. 

____  


The path into the woods were paved with her favorite wildflowers. Jacob's Ladders lined the little road like tiny lightless lanterns, guiding them deeper and deeper into nature, the pair wordlessly begging for the earth to swallow them up, never to be seen again. 

____  


They visited many secret graves within the forest, paying homage to each one. And with due time, the spiraling shadows of moonlight and foliage cascaded down, an endless dance, a kaleidoscope of spirits all leading towards the pond. 

____  


The younger was first to speak, voice rusty, lips sticky and throat dry. 

____  


"You saw her here?" His voice was dampened by the still air. 

____  


The older simply nodded. His weary eyes watched pure white lilies bob their sweet smelling blossoms in hushed agreement, no wind to blow them. 

____  


The men hiked up their pants, and waded into the moonlit pond, the glowing teal waters lapping invitingly at their ankles, bare toes sinking pleasantly into the mud. Koi fluttered about under the water, ghostly scales shimmering under the gentle ripples.

____  


"If you could tell her anything, what would you say?" The older man turned his scarred face to his friend's. 

____  


Silence. A koi splashed once. 

____  


"It wasn't in vain. The world is better now because you were in it. I won't forget you, and I will never let you be forgotten." 

____  


Tears dripped down his pale face, starlit diamonds into the crystal pond. 

____  


"I loved you." He closed his eyes, wishing for nothing more than to sink under the water and never have to feel such numbing pain in his chest ever again. 

____  


There was never a greater ache in one's heart, than Kakashi felt in that moment. It was a reality he had faced too soon, a fate he had denied for too long. 

____  


His friend's scarred fingers slipped perfectly into his. 

____  


"I'll tell her just that." He whispered. "Though, I've said the exact same thing." 

____  


Kakashi turned to him, and smiled weakly. 

____  


They waded deeper, taking in the strange warmth of the mystical glowing waters. 

____  


And for those tender, silent moments, their bodies were made whole, their vision clear, their hands soft as the children they once were. 

____  


Their hearts beat vibrantly in time with one another, holding each other in kind arms. 

____  


"I was told, by Granny once…" the elder began softly, feeling Kakashi shake and shudder with muffled sobs in his embrace, "that it hurts only because when they're gone from the world...they go to your heart. So you have to make room...in there for them." His throat hurt agonizingly so, as knots tied knots upon themselves. 

____  


"And your heart is so sensitive, that opening to let something in is painful. Which is why when you lose so many, and gain so many in your heart, it hurts even more." The voice strained over the pain. 

____  


"If you leave me again, surely, my heart will burst…" Kakashi wept openly, letting the ugliness out, messy coughs and choking sobs tumbling out of him relentlessly.

____  


"Never. Our hearts are meant to share such a heavy burden." His friend murmured, quivering lips pressed to his bowed forehead, then, to the scalding tears that fell endlessly down salt stained cheeks. "I would never leave you. I came  _ back _ for you." 

____  


When they left the pond, they made their way up the highest oak, climbing the towering trunk for many, many meters, until they settled on a sturdy branch high above the forest, the world sprawling below them and the clouds in their lungs. 

____  


"Tell me about it all. You've changed so much. I need to know." Fingers laced perfectly in with Kakashi's, scarred and mangled face beaming proudly. "Tell me all about him." 

____  


Kakashi forcefully swallowed back another round of bitter tears, a sharp, shuddering inhale wracking his lungs. 

____  


"Iruka, wasn't it? That silly little kid who was your shadow?" He laughed, a scratchy sound, but comforting nonetheless. "He finally catch up to you?" 

____  


The white haired jonin blushed. 

____  


"I suppose he did. He reminds me a lot of you." He whispered, hand squeezing his friend's. "You have the same ambition. The same unyielding compassion. I couldn't help but fall in love." A hushed laugh, "It just took me forever and a day to realize it was that." 

____  


"I'm flattered." The raven haired shinobi chuckled, dark eyes taking in the distant countryside and rolling silver mountains. "I'd like to meet him. If one of us is going to get married, I'm glad it's you." He snorted. "As surprising as it is." 

____  


Kakashi stiffened, growing flustered. 

____  


"M-marry? I...I haven't even confessed yet." He spluttered, fidgeting a bit in place. 

____  


"You'd better get on it, then." His friend smirked, elbowing him. "When I go back, I'll tell her everything you've told me. She'll be so happy to know you're with someone." 

____  


Kakashi's shoulders slumped, and he glanced away. 

____  


"I wish I could ask her for advice." 

____  


"I'll ask for you." 

____  


"..." A sigh, "I just need her to have faith in me. Faith that I'll be everything he needs me to be." 

____  


"Faith that you won't be a total loser, yeah, I get it, Bakashi." The shinobi teased, earning him a whack on the back of the head. 

____  


The pair play fought for a while, nearly tumbling out the tree and into the leafy abyss below, catching each other before they lost balance. 

____  


\--

____  


The stark hospital loomed over them like the entrance to Purgatory once they returned, waving their farewells. 

____  


The elder quietly made his way back up to his ward in the highest floor, the stairways only an eternity to climb. 

____  


He padded into the empty room, not bothering to turn on the light. It was barely morning now, the horizon flickering with new light as the darkness of night faded from midnight blue into a gossamer periwinkle. 

____  


He sat on the bed, staring out into the floor to ceiling windows, his reflection blurred by numb tears. 

____  


"Rin." He whispered into the infant dawn. "He needs you." 

____  


His body grew weak and fatigued as the first rays of light burst forth from the ground, a jeweled bird waking in the sky. 

____  


The shinobi's dark eyes opened to the sight of a smiling brunette girl, sitting comfortably in the guest chair by the great windows. 

____  


"Tell me everything, Obito." She smiled brightly, the sunrise shining through her transparent body, no shadow clinging to her weightless form. "What silly mess has Kakashi-kun gotten himself into  _ this  _ time?"

____  


Her laughter never was the tolling of bells at the wake, but the springtime chimes that signaled winter had finally died. 

____  


Obito stared longingly at her, head tilting as a weak smile tugged at his lips. 

____  


"It's a doozy." He chuckled under his breath. "Hope you've got the time to sit and listen."

____  


"I always have all the time in the world for  _ you,  _ Obito." Rin beamed sweetly at him.

_  
_

> _I'd give anything to hear_  
>  You say it one more time  
>  That the universe was made  
>  Just to be seen by my eyes

**Author's Note:**

> its okay its all gonna be okay
> 
> hey if youre sad  
> itll get better. youre dreams are never in vain, and neither are you.  
> never give up. 
> 
> https://nami.org/find-support


End file.
